John Cale
Fear Is A Man's Best Friend - John Cale


White Light/White Heat

White Light/White Heat

  1. White Light/White Heat
  2. The Gift
  3. Lady Godiva's Operation
  4. Here She Comes Now
  5. I Heard Her Call My Name
  6. Sister Ray

White Light/White Heat

White Light
Goin' messing up my mind
White Light
Don't you know it's gonna make me go blind?
White Heat
It tickles me down to my toes
White Light
Have mercy White Light have it goodness knows

White Light
White Light
Goin' messing up my brain
White Light
Oh, White Light
It's gonna drive me insane
White Heat
White Heat it tickles me down to my toes
White Light
Oh, White Light I said now, goodness knows, do it
White Light
Oh, I surely do love to watch that stuff drip itself in
White Light
Watch that side, watch that side
Don't you know gonna be dead and dried
White Heat
Yeah foxy mama watchin' me walking down the street
White Light
Come upside your head, gonna make a dead hang on your street

White Light
Movin' me between my brain
White Light
Gonna make you insane
White Heat
Oh, White Heat it tickles me down to my toes
White Light
Oh, White Light, I said now, goodness knows

White Light
Oh, White Light it lightens up my eyes
White Light
Don't you know it fills me up with surprise
White Heat
Oh, White Heat tickle me down to my toes
White Light
Oh, White Light, I'll tell you now, goodness knows, now work it
White Light
Oh, she surely do move speed
Watch that speed freak, watch that speed freak,
Yeah we're gonna go and make it every week
White Heat
Oh, Sputter mutter, ever body's gonna kill their mother

White Light
Here she comes, here she comes
Everybody get it, gonna make me run
Do it


The Gift

Waldo Jeffers had reached his limit. It was now Mid-August which meant that he had been separated from Marsha for more than two months. Two months, and all he had to show was three dog-eared letters and two very expensive long distance phone calls. When school had ended and she'd returned to Wisconsin, and he to Locust, Pennsylvania. She had sworn to maintain a certain fidelity, she would date occasionally, but merely as amusement. She would remain faithfull.

But lately Waldo had begun to worry. He had trouble sleeping at night and when he did, he had horrible dreams. He lay awake at night, tossing and turning underneath his pleated quilt protector, tears welling in his eyes. As he pictured Marsha, her sworn vows overcome by liquor and the smooth soothing of some neanderthal, finally submitting to the final caresses of sexual oblivion. It was more than the human mind could bear.

Visions of Marsha's faithlessness haunted him. Daytime fantasies of sexual abandon permeated his thoughts. And the thing was they wouldn't really understand how she really was. He, Waldo, alone, understood this. He had intuitively grasped every nook and cranny of her psyche. He had made her smile, and she needed him, and he wasn't there. (ahhh....)

The idea came to him on the Thursday before the Mummers' Parade was scheduled to appear. He had just finished mowing and etching the Edelsons lawn for a dollar fifty and had checked the mailbox to see if there was at least a word from Marsha. There was nothing more than a circular from the Amalgamated Aluminum Company of America inquiring into his zoning needs. At least they cared enough to write. It was a New York company. You could go anywhere in the mail.

Then it struck him, he didn't have enough money to go to Wisconsin in the accepted fashion, true, but why not mail himself? It was absurdly simple. He would ship himself parcel post special delivery. The next day Waldo went to the supermarket to purchase the necessary equipment. He bought masking tape, a staple gun and a medium sized box, just right for a person of his built. He judged that with a minimum of jostling he could ride quite comfortably. A few airholes, some water, of course, midnight snacks and it would probably be as good as going tourist.

By Friday afternoon, Waldo was set. He was packed and the post office had agreed to pick him up at three o'clock. He'd marked the package "Fragile", and as he sat curled up inside, resting the foam rubber cushioning he'd thoughtfully included, he tried to picture the look of awe and happiness on Marshas face as she opened the door, saw the package, tipped the deliverer, and then opened it to see her Waldo finally there in person. She would kiss him, then, maybe they could see a movie. If he'd only thought of this before. Suddenly rough hands gripped his package and he felt himself borne up. He landed with a thud in a truck and then he was off.

Marsha Bronson had just finished setting her hair. It had been a very rough weekend. She had to remember not to drink like that. Bill had been nice about it though. After it was over he'd said that he still respected her and, after all, it was certainly the way of nature, and even though, no he didn't love her, he did feel an affection for her. And, after all, they were grown adults. Oh, what Billy could teach Waldo - but that seemed like years ago.

Sheila Klein, her very, very best friend walked in through the porch screen door and into the kitchen.

"Oh god, it's absolutely maudlin outside."

"I know what you mean, I feel all icky!" Marsha tightened her cotton robe with the silk outer edge. Sheila ran her finger over some salt grains on the kitchen table, licked her fingers and made a face.

"I'm supposed to take these salt pills," but she wrinkled her nose, "They make me feel like throwing up." Marsha started to pat herself under the chin, an exercise she'd seen on television. "God, don't even talk about that." She got up from the table and went to the sink where she picked up a bottle of pink and blue vitamins. "Want one? Supposed to be better than steak." And attempted to touch her knees.

"I don't think I'll ever touch a daiquiri again." She gave up and sat down, this time nearer the table that supported the telephone. "Maybe Bill will call." she said to Sheila's glance. Sheila nibbled on a cuticle.

"After last night, I thought maybe you'd be through with him."

"I know what you mean, my God, he was like an octopus. Hands all over the place." She gestured, raising her arms upwards in defense. "The thing is after a while, you get tired of fighting with him, you know, and after all he didn't really do anything Friday and Saturday so I kind of owed it to him, you know what I mean." She started to scratch.

Sheila was giggling with her hand over her mouth. "I'll tell you, I feel the same way, and even after a while," here she bend forward in a whisper, "I wanted to," and now she was laughing very loudly.

It was at this point that Mr. Jameison of the Clarence Darrow Post Office rang the door bell of the large colored stucco frame house. When Marsha Bronson opened the door, he helped her carry the package in. He had his yellow and green slips of paper signed and left with a fifteen cent tip that Marsha had gotten out of her mothers small beige pocketbook in the den.

"What do you think it is?" Sheila asked.

Marsha stood with her arms folded behind her back. She stared at the brown cardboard carton that sat in the middle of the living room: "I don't know."

Inside the package Waldo quivered with excitement as he listened to the muffled voices. Sheila ran her fingernail over the masking tape that ran down the center of the carton. "Why don't you look at the return address and see who it is from?"

Waldo felt his heart beating. He could feel the vibrating footsteps. It would be soon.

Marsha walked around the carton and read the ink-scratched label. "God, it's from Waldo."

"That schmuck!" said Sheila.

Waldo trembled with expectation.

"You might as well open it," said Sheila. Both of them tried to flip the stable flap.

"Ah," said Marsha groaning. "He must have nailed it shut." They tagged at the flap again. "My God, you need a power drill to get this thing opened." They pulled again. "You can't get a grip!" They both stood still, breathing heavily. "Why don't you get the scissors," said Sheila. Marsha ran into the kitchen, but all she could find was a little sewing scissors. Then she remembered that her father kept a collection of tools in the basement. She ran downstairs and when she came back, she had a large metal cutter in her hand. "This is the best I could find." She was out of breath. "Here, you do it. I'm gonna die." She sank into a large fluffy couch and exhaled noisily. Sheila tried to make a slit between the masking tape and the end of the cardboard, but the blade was too big and there was not enough room. "G-damn this thing!" she said feeling very exasperated. Then, smiling "I got an idea." "What?" said Marsha. "Just watch," said Sheila touching her finger to her head.

Inside the package, Waldo was transfixed with excitement that he could hardly breathe. His skin felt prickly from the heat and he could feel his heart beating in his throat. It would be soon.

Sheila stood quite upright and walked around to the other side of the package. Then she sank down to her knees, grasped the cutter by both hands, took a deep breath and plunged the long blade through the middle of the package, through the middle of the masking tape, through the card-board through the cushioning and right through the center of Waldo Jeffers head, which split slightly and caused little rhythmic arcs of red to pulsate gently in the morning sun.


Lady Godiva's Operation

Lady Godiva, hair dressed so demurely
Pats the head of another curly-haired boy
Just another toy
Sick with silence she weeps sincerely
Saying words that have all so clearly been said
So long ago

Draperies wrapped gently 'round her shoulders
Life has made her that much bolder now
That she found out how

Dressed in silk, clad in lace and envy
Pride and joy of the latest penny fair
Pretty passing care

Her hair today now are dipped in the water
Making love to every poor daughter's son
Isn't it fun?

Now today, propping grace with envy
Lady Godiva peers to see if anyone's there
And hasn't a care

The doctor's coming, the nurse thinks SWEETLY
Turning on the machines that NEATLY pump air
The body lies bare

Shaved and hairless, what once was SCREAMING
now lies silent and almost SLEEPING
the brain must have gone away

Strapped securely to the white table
Ether causes the body to wither and writhe
underneath the White Light

The doctor arrives, knife and baggage
sees the growth as just so much cabbage
that now
must be cut away

Now comes the moment of Great! Great! Decision!
The doctor is making his first incision
One goes here - one goes there

The ether tube's leaking says someone who's sloppy
Patient it seems is not so well sleeping
The screams echo up the hall
Don't panic someone give him pentathol instantly
Doctor removes his blade
Cagily so from the brain
By my count of ten -
The head won't move!


Here She Comes Now

Now, if she ever comes now now
If she ever comes now, now
If she ever comes now

Now, if she ever comes now now
If she ever comes now, now
If she ever comes now

Aw, it looks so good,
Aw, she's made out of wood
Just look and see

Now, if she ever comes now now
If she ever comes now, now
If she ever comes now

Now, if she ever comes now now
If she ever comes now, now
If she ever comes now

Aw, it looks so good
Aw, she's made out of wood
Just look and see


I Heard Her Call My Name

Here it comes the count-down
It's gone gone, baby
Got my eyes wide open
Ever since I was crippled on Monday,
Got my eyeballs on my knees, a baby-walking
I rapped for hours with Mad Mary Williams,
She said she never understood a word from me because
I know she cares about me
I heard her call my name
I know she's long dead and gone
Still it ain't the same
When I woke up in the morning, mama
I heard her call my name
I know she's dead and long, long gone
I heard her call my name
And then I felt my mind split open


Sister Ray

Duck and Sally inside
They're cooking for the down five
Who's starin' at Miss Rayon
Who's busy lickin' up her pig pen
I'm searching for my mainline
I said I couldn't hit it sideways
I said I couldn't hit it sideways
Oh, just like Sister Ray said
Whip it on

Rosie and Miss Rayon
They're busy waitin' for her booster
Who just got back from Carolina
She said she didn't like the weather
They're busy waitin' for her sailor
Who says he's just as big as ever
He says he's from Alabama
He wants to know a way to earn a dollar
I'm searchin' for my mainer
I said I couldn't hit it sideways
I couldn't hit it sideways
Oh, just like Sister Ray said
Play it on

Cecil's got his new piece
He cocks and shoots between three and four
He aims it at the sailor
Shoots him down dead on the floor
Aw, you shouldn't do that
Don't you know you'll stain the carpet
Now don't you know you'll stain the carpet
And by the way, have you got a dollar
Oh, no man, I haven't got the time, time
Too busy sucking on a ding-dong
She's busy sucking on my ding-dong
Aw, she does just like Sister Ray said

I'm searching for my mainline
I said I -c-c-couldn't hit it sideways
I c-c-c-c-c-couldn't hit it sideways
Oh, do it, do it aw just just just like Sister Ray said

Now, who is that knocking
Who's knocking on my chamber door
Could it be the police
They come and take me for a ride, ride
Oh but I haven't got the time, time
Hey, hey, hey, she's busy sucking on my ding-dong
She's busy sucking on my ding-dong
Aw now do it just like Sister Ray says
I'm searching for my mainline
I couldn't hit it sideways
I couldn't hit it sideways
Now just like, oh just like aw, just like Sister Ray said.

Whip it on me Jim!

© 1999- Hans Werksman