Bikes

The best and fastest way to get around in Amsterdam: a bike. There are no rules. Feel free to use the sidewalk, one way streets, etcetera. Ignore traffic signs, run red lights. No problem, unless you run in to a cop doing so.

However, there is a catch: the natives get agitated when you drive slowly. A bike is a means of transport, not to enjoy the scenery. Consider the hefty chains, a necessary accessory to each bike in Amsterdam. Do not provoke the natives, unless you want your head bashed in with it.

The typical Amsterdam bike is a rusty, old vehicle, often painted in colours that could make a grown man weep. "Why?", you ask. Oh, you never heard about the junkies? The junkies need their dope, they need money to buy it, they don't have any money, so they become thieves and sell off the loot. The loot consists mainly of ... Exactly. Each year thousands of bikes are stolen by the dopey-eyed losers. They are like crowes. They like gleaming stuff. A brand new bike attracts them like flies.

The typical tourist bike is a smart looking brand new vehicle. So be sure you get an insurance against theft. Report your bike stolen at one of the user friendly Amsterdam police stations.